K well i guess i havent been really open these past couple of weeks with sum of you. So if your wondering why im not my *Normal* self then heres Why:
1) I gave up sumthin that meant so much to me to something that meant so little. I know that doesnt make sense. But i promise that someday it will all make sense. Just right now, i cant explain the way i feel for some people and why i do, what i do, when in the end, im depressed.
2) I miss soooo many people its unreal. All these people that i dont talk to no more, and everything. They just disapeared out of my life.
3) Jordon is really starting to drive me nuts. I love him so much. But i think something i said is making him stay away. I know what i said a couple days ago to him was way out of hand. But c'mon what if you found out what he's been doing?! Would u want to protect you and your friends? Or let him get away with it?
4) I feel like all of a sudden theres so much that i am missing, and so much that i have to do, i dont understand. I've done all that i can do. Theres not much more keeping me alive no more.
5) The pressure from my family is incredible. Do this. Do that. 24/7. I dont blame my sister for leaving.
6) I've got sooo much bottled up inside. I just need to let it all out. But the thing is, theres no one i can trust no more. Most people know how i am. But they only know so little. Theres so much more that they dont know. I think its just that time to come out and say what i need to say
Theres so much more thats been bothering me. I just, i dont know. I guess we'll find out how i turn out within the next couple days. I need to get away.
posted by Mandi @ 8:29 PM
