SHIT! I HATE MY LIFE..I HATE IT...I HATE IT...I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE IT AND I SERIOSULY WUD RATHER BE DEAD THEN LIVE HERE FOR ANOTHER FUCKING MINUTE. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL JUNE 24TH WHEN I CAN LEAVE THIS FUCKING HELL HOLE. ERRRRRR. WHY DOES MY LIFE ALWAYS SEEM TO GET FUCKED UP??? I HATE JOSH THE MOST, FOR GETTING ME IN THIS STUPID TROUBLE. AND I WILL NEVER EVER TALK TO THAT FUCKING BASTARD EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER AGAIN!!!!!!

Hmmm, the end of the year is rapidly approaching, and to tell you the truth. I HATE IT. absolutely hate it. I do not want to be in lock down for the last week of school. THATS CRAZY. who cares if im failing?? what are grades good for anyway? Nothing. Errr, this so sucks. But this also means that i will be moving in about a month. I talked to my mom last night, and she decided to have my step-dads parents come up here on the 24th or some shit like that to get me and my sister. My mom has to go get surgery. Thats on the 16th and she'll be in the hospital for a couple days. So i hope she just gets better soon! :) UhHhH, oh yes, i tried calling jordon again...hmmm.. acouple nights ago, and it WAS Ringing, but i decided to hang up, cuz i was pissed at him cuz he didnt even care to let me know that it was working again, and i figured i pissed him off enuff already and he didnt want to hear from me. So whatever, i give up on that, I guess ill just talk to him (maybe) on the day that i leave, that way i can piss him off even MORE. lol. Its not nice, i know, but what else is there to do?? Right now i am sitting here, fingering my camera...(not like that...i mean touching it) its really shiny. Lolz. and now i am looking at the phone. Thinking whether or not i shud give jordon another call. I dont think i will. It may...cause problems..lol. oooh this morning i was in the shower right? and all of a sudden it felt like i cudnt breath. I was like that for like 5 minutes. It sucked. Holy fuck. why does it have to be sooooo cold?! *CrAnK iT uP* lolz, im listening to that song right now :) Well i guess i better stop blabbering since i have nothing else to blabber about. Lol...later kidders

was just lookin at some saved things and came across this, i still like it from (Perks Of Being A Wallflower)

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year that Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

that last paragraph gives me the chills, i think it has alot to do with me, cuz when i was young, i was an awesome student and my parents and others loved me, now its not like that no more, and the last paragraph, just, something about it, relates alot to me..

haha its been like what a couple weeks since i last posted?! Hmmm.. wow! Lolz, well anyways, i finally heard from jordon hes moving i guess...but whatever, i just hope i can talk to him before i move, cuz once i move, theres gonna be no way that im gonna be able to get online except for like once a week, but i'd still call him....maybe...if hes not at me *sigh* hmmm, only 28 more days until i move...so thats good *...Countin on a new beginnin, a reason for living...* lmao...haha ohhhh...read this...idakno if its interesting or not...but ya

nyjetsfan987 (10:48:07 AM): hi
nyjetsfan987 (10:48:08 AM): y u not talk again
nyjetsfan987 (3:04:28 PM): hey
nyjetsfan987 (5:14:15 PM): hey
nyjetsfan987 (5:14:34 PM): aight guess u dint wanna talk
shedevil420_2003 (5:15:14 PM): STOP IMING ME DAMMIT
nyjetsfan987 (5:15:27 PM): y
nyjetsfan987 (5:15:29 PM): wha the fuck did i do
shedevil420_2003 (5:15:32 PM): UR ANNOYING
nyjetsfan987 (5:15:47 PM): how i just wanted to fucking talk 2 u
nyjetsfan987 (5:15:52 PM): my bad
shedevil420_2003 (5:16:30 PM): u im me like 50 times aday i thought that if i didnt talk to u u wud get the hint...but no...u just keep imingm and iming AND IMING and its gets so dayum annoying that if u do it again i will fucking go Psycho
nyjetsfan987 (5:16:48 PM): whateva i dont care ill just stop tryin to talk 2 u
nyjetsfan987 (5:16:58 PM): and that not true
nyjetsfan987 (5:17:32 PM): ive im u today only like 5 times
nyjetsfan987 (5:17:36 PM): but whateva
nyjetsfan987 (5:17:41 PM): ill shut up
shedevil420_2003 (5:17:43 PM): whatever...same thing
nyjetsfan987 (5:18:03 PM): ok well guess u dont eva wanna talk again

lol i can be so mean sometimes *shrugs* its not MY fault these stupid asses pester me like that. haha. Ooooh headache. Well i found out that some of my teachers think that i have lost weight, well, I HAVENT!! *grrr* ive gained like a pound, cuz i USED to way 108 and now i weigh 109 and a HALF. *rolls eyes* mmmm...i think im gonna get pizza tonight becuz that sounds really good. I just need to ask fer some money :D :P yeeeep...oooh does anyone like the new layout? lol luke is so stupid..

pfff says:
av u got a pic?
pfff says:
like
+-- Mandi--+ 28 days! says:
of?
pfff says:
1 without ur name on it
+-- Mandi--+ 28 days! says:
haha yaaaa....why?
pfff says:
bc im gona use it on this email i got nd lie to my frend nd say thats me

ok why wud anyone wanna use MYYYYY picture? =/ thats kinda scary...but ya...
anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyways...i think thats all i have to say so laters